Happiness Begins Before the Bell: How Intention Shapes Our Homes, Classrooms, and Lives

There’s a common idea that happiness lies just beyond the next milestone—after that next promotion, once the business takes off, or when our kids finally reach that stage we’ve been working toward.

But what if happiness isn’t a destination? What if it’s a decision we make, moment by moment?

Gratitude Journal

As both a parent and educator, I’ve spent years chasing a sense of “arriving.” And slowly, I’ve come to understand something both deeply simple and incredibly difficult: happiness lives in the now. It lives in the way I grind coffee beans each morning, the conversations I have with my dog before anyone else is awake, and the quiet moment I take to look around and realize—I am okay. More than okay. I am grateful. And that gratitude brings me joy.

But this isn’t just sentiment. It’s science.

Psychological research supports the idea that emotions are not simply reactive but can be generated through intention. Studies in emotional contagion theory (Hatfield, Cacioppo, & Rapson, 1993) show that emotions are highly contagious—what we feel, we transmit. As educators, parents, leaders, or simply people moving through the world, the mood we carry often becomes the emotional atmosphere we create.

In my public speaking class, I often remind students: your audience will feel what you feel. If you tell a story with genuine laughter or sadness, that emotion ripples through the room. What you feel, they feel.

The same is true when we walk into a classroom or a family dinner. Children, students, even colleagues pick up on our inner state before we say a word. Which means our first responsibility—before a lecture, a conversation, a correction—is to center ourselves.

I’ve learned this the hard way. There are mornings when my own frustration threatens to spill into everything—when I feel taken for granted by students skipping class, or I’m tired from a two-hour LA commute. I can either carry that mood into the classroom… or I can choose to shift.

I’ve realized that intention, not circumstance, is the more powerful force.

This doesn’t mean pretending. It means pausing. Making space. Choosing how we want to feel. Positive psychology research calls this emotional regulation—our ability to notice a feeling and then respond with awareness rather than reaction. It's been linked to better mental health, stronger relationships, and improved decision-making (Gross, 2015; Aldao et al., 2010).

Laughter is often the best medicine - and it is free!

Sometimes, shifting means going outside with my students. Just five minutes in the morning sun can create a sense of presence and connection. Sometimes it means laughing together over a silly video. Because joy is free. And contagious.

Positive psychology research shows that such small moments of joy—like a shared laugh or a moment outdoors—can broaden our mental awareness and help build long-term resilience (Fredrickson, 2001). So yes, that five minutes of sun with students? It’s doing more than you think.

At home, the same intention matters. If I’m smiling, there’s a good chance my family smiles more. If I approach dinner with warmth, the mood shifts. And while some days I fall short, I return again and again to this idea: the only emotions I can truly control are my own.

I want to be clear—this isn’t about perfection. Far from it. I’ve had so many days when I’m grumpy for no reason, sulking around the house, and my husband has to walk over and gently say, “Smile, no?”

And he’s right. Sometimes we forget. We carry the weight of deadlines, exhaustion, or just a restless mood—and it shows. At the dinner table, in a classroom, even in a meeting with a colleague who’s just as drained.

Woman looking out at the sunlight in a classroom

The point isn’t to mask what you’re feeling, but to recognize that a small shift—a smile, a deep breath, a lighter tone—can change the entire energy of a room. It’s a gesture that helps everyone, but more than that, it helps you. You forget what you were annoyed about. You stop sulking. And just like that, you feel better.

I remind myself of this daily: I am a work in progress. The decision to try—again and again—is itself a kind of success. It’s a ritual, a daily recommitment. In fact, research shows that small, repeated moments of mindfulness can shift us over time—from fleeting states of calm to lasting emotional traits like resilience and presence (Kiken et al., 2015).

These tiny rituals matter more than they seem.

So, how do we bring more happiness into the classroom—and into our lives?

Start with intention.

• Create rituals. Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea in the morning, or a moment of breath before class begins, these small practices set the tone for the day.

• Feel before you speak. Before you deliver a message—whether in a classroom or around the dinner table—ask yourself: how do I want others to feel? Feel it yourself first.

• Lead with presence. Be where you are. Put down your phone. Look your child or student in the eye. Presence is the most underrated form of love.

• Acknowledge your emotions, then choose. Feelings are data, not destiny. Recognize them, and then ask: what emotion would best serve me and those around me right now?

• Laugh often. Don’t underestimate the power of joy. Laughter opens people up. It builds trust. It makes learning—and life—more meaningful.

Let this be a gentle reminder: your energy matters. And happiness is not a reward—it’s a practice.

References

Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(2), 217–237. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.11.004

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781

Hatfield, E., Cacioppo, J. T., & Rapson, R. L. (1993). Emotional contagion. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2(3), 96–100. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.ep10770953

Kiken, L. G., Garland, E. L., Bluth, K., Palsson, O. S., & Gaylord, S. A. (2015). From a state to a trait: Trajectories of state mindfulness in meditation during intervention predict changes in trait mindfulness. Personality and Individual Differences, 81, 41–46. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2014.12.044

Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.218